Wednesday, 27 November 2013

S1x5 - Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: Heart of Stone

With the amount of deals these people make, it’s a wonder that they manage to keep track of who they’re working with each week. This episode saw new teams forming, if only for a little while. Cyrus has finally escaped, Knave's no longer a statue and we have a tad more insight on the Red Queen’s life.

The flashback’s focused on Knave and RQ when they were just Will and Anastasia and new to Wonderland. Just before they jumped into the portal to take them there, Anastasia’s mother turned up and gave her a bit of a tongue lashing and basically said she’s a disgrace for choosing love instead of the family, who have worked hard to make her a princess. She was kind of a b*tch and a great example of how children end up like their parents.

She was also kind of right as times were tough in Wonderland. Will and Anastasia were spending most of their time scrounging for food when they decided to gate crash a palace ball. They stole a couple of fancy outfits and tried to blend in with the crowd but it didn’t really work. Will was too interested in stealing food, while Anastasia learned the posh accent and had a conversation with the King. They were busted and Will wasn’t that bothered because he had food, but she had been given an insight into how the wealthy half lived, and she definitely wanted more.

Feeling slightly desperate she convinced Will that it would be a good idea to steal the crown jewels, and honestly, I reckon even I could accomplish that as the security at the palace was shocking. Will was literally standing outside the front door waiting for her while she used a measly knife to crack the case open and start pilfering. Of course, the King turned up half way through, but instead of busting her, he made her his Queen because her determination fascinated him. What!? If it’s that easy to be Queen, where’s my tiara?! So not fair! I did feel a little for Will though: he clearly loved her and she left him as soon as something sparkly was waved in her face. Harsh.

Back in present Wonderland, RQ decided to strike a deal with Alice: if Alice gets her some magic dust that helps fight dark magic, giving her an edge on Jafaar, she will tell her where Cyrus is. Pretty simple except that the magic dust was across an un-crossable ravine and RQ didn’t really fancy stepping off a cliff and dying. Alice was naturally wary, but took the deal. When they got to the ravine, there was a sign saying ‘Only the purest of hearts can take the leap’ and they spent a good portion of time debating what that meant before they finally realised that Alice was pure of heart and had to take a leap – it was pretty simple.

She took a couple steps off the cliff, the faith of her and Cyrus’s love helping her walk on air before that stopped being a thing and she fell and landed among the bones of some other dudes who had tried. The next sequence that followed was pretty stupid as young Alice manifested and tried to force her to kill RQ, who had fallen as well. It was exceptionally cheesy and extremely obvious what the outcome was, as Alice didn’t fall for it and passed the test, proving she’s pure of heart. Well duh. It actually also highlighted that Alice is kind of boring – yes, she’s the good guy, but she’s constantly going on about her love for Cyrus and finding Cyrus. I wish that would happen already so some actual adventures can happen or something.

In the meantime, she got the magic dust but wouldn’t you know it, RQ betrayed her and took it without telling her where Cyrus is. Luckily, while Alice may be a bit annoying, she isn’t a fool and she kept some of the dust for herself. She used it to reveal Jafaar’s castle and professed to the air that she was coming for Cyrus.

Cyrus was actually doing the same thing as he had finally escaped from his cage using the wishbone and was standing outside looking over to the Wonderland woods. The fact that I could write that entire storyline in one sentence when it took five episodes to happen shows how tedious this has been. There was also a side story of the old guy who was in another cage and threw away the keys so he couldn’t escape with Cyrus, saying he would only slow him down. Cyrus was worried Jafaar would kill him but the old guy was sure he wouldn’t. My money is on him being Jafaar’s Sultan father who didn’t acknowledge him and Jafaar’s exacting his revenge with a classic lock-him-in-a-cage plan.

Jafaar has also struck a deal with the White Rabbit, who quite honestly keeps getting the short straw. First RQ was blackmailing him to help her get the bottle and information from Alice, and then Jafaar spent this entire episode interrogating him for information, eventually cutting off his foot so he would tell him who Alice likes in Wonderland. It ended with Jafaar making him open a portal to someplace else, and I reckon he’s probably going to get the Mad Hatter, which is ok because I liked him in OUAT.

So now things have finally happened, hopefully there will be a bit more exciting action that’s less predictable. One thing I liked about the first season of OUAT (I don’t want to talk about the second one) was that it presented us with familiar fairy-tales, but always changed something so that they were surprising. That hasn’t really happened yet in Oncerland as it’s all been fairly predictable. Now Cyrus is free, RQ has turned Knave back into a human and Alice knows where Cyrus is, things might start happening. Or not. We shall see.

I do need to talk about RQ’s footman though. They’re only in it for about two minutes and one of them is actually working for Jafaar, but those are probably the best two minutes of the entire show.  The faces they make and the twirls when dismissing someone are brilliant and make me chuckle every time. Just have them and Knave on screen constantly and it will be a winner!